<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Things That Matter by wx4rmk</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26918161">Things That Matter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wx4rmk/pseuds/wx4rmk'>wx4rmk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bonanza</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Family, Sequel, Spanking, Western, frontier life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:08:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,974</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26918161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wx4rmk/pseuds/wx4rmk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam and his wife Cecily are raising a wonderful family on the Ponderosa. However, like all families, things don’t always go smoothly. This story will follow Adam and his family through the trials and tribulations of living in the western frontier. Please note: This story will contain some scenes of corporal punishment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Meet The Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: This story will be a sequel to my Adam and Cecily family universe started in ‘A Waterlily From Inger’. Please note again: This story will contain some scenes of corporal punishment. It will not be in every chapter nor will it be the focus of the story, but it will still be there nonetheless. If this isn’t your cup of tea, feel free to read one of the thousands of other wonderful stories on here.</p><p>Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, setting, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was an unusually warm late spring day in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. After being cooped up all winter, the entire family was taking full advantage of the nice day.  </p><p>Cecily was sitting out on the porch doing some much-needed alterations on both her children and her husband’s clothes. It was taking her longer than usual as she got distracted every few minutes. Of course, there was always the distraction of the beautiful nature that surrounded the house, pulling her thoughts far away from the Ponderosa. </p><p>And then there were her children adding an extra distraction. Since it was one of the first nice days, they all seemed to have extra built-up energy they needed to wear off. </p><p>Their youngest children were twin four-and-a-half-year-old girls, Helen and Clara. When they were born, Cecily let out a sigh of relief at the thought that at least they were girls. She couldn’t even start to imagine all the mischief they would get into and worry they would cause Adam and herself if they were twin boys. </p><p>Adam however wasn’t as relieved. He told Cecily that they would still be Cartwrights and even though they’re girls, he was very confident that they would still keep them on their toes. Maybe Adam was right, or maybe it’s because they’re twins, but with those two around, there never was a dull moment. </p><p>Cecily looked up from her sewing as she heard the front door open and smiled as she saw Adam stepping out onto the porch to join her. </p><p>“Have you finished fixing that chair inside?” Cecily had noticed that one of the kitchen chairs had become a bit wobbly over the last couple weeks and Adam decided now was as good of a time as any to fix it before it got much worse. </p><p>“Yes, I have. It’s only a temporary fix. Eventually, we’ll have to get a new chair. For now, though, it’s as steady as a rock.” Adam cast his wife a smile as he lowered himself into the empty porch chair next to her. He then smiled to himself as he watched his daughters playing in the front yard. </p><p>“Honey, I was thinking it might be time for some refreshments. I believe there are some leftover cookies in the jar in the kitchen as well as some milk in the pantry. I know you just came out and sat down, but would you mind getting them for us and bringing them out here?”</p><p>“Not a problem.” </p><p>Adam had just stood up and was heading for the door when he heard a squabble near the side of the house. He headed down the stairs and over to where he could hear an argument taking place. He arrived just in time to see Clara give her sister a light shove sending her to the ground. </p><p>“Clara Ann! Come here this instant!”</p><p>Clara’s head snapped up as she heard her father’s stern voice. She slowly forced herself to walk over to where Adam was standing. Helen by now had righted herself and followed close behind her sister. </p><p>Adam crossed his arms over his chest and waited until Clara was standing in front of him before addressing her. “What is the meaning of this?” </p><p>“Umm…” She knew her father expected an answer, but she knew the excuse would only get her in trouble more. Instead, she dropped her gaze to the ground and remained silent.</p><p>“I’m waiting for an answer, Clara.” Adam was trying very hard to keep his temper under control, but this refusal to answer him was making his patience wear thin. </p><p>She looked back up at Adam and after seeing the disappointment and hint of frustration on his face, quickly gave her explanation before she made things even worse. “Me and Helen were playing ball. She said she wanted to play with our dolls now, but I wanted to continue playing with the ball.”</p><p>Adam nodded at the explanation before turning to Helen who was standing a few feet behind her sister. “Is this true, Helen?”</p><p>“Yes, Pa. She said that we would get to play dolls after we played with the ball. We’ve been playing ball this whole time.” Helen was more reserved than her sister and liked to play quieter games if given the chance. She didn’t mind playing the rough and tumble games sometimes with her sister or older brother, but in the end, she’d always pick more girly games and toys to play with. And if she was promised something, she made sure that person held up their end of the deal. </p><p>“Did you promise your sister Clara?” A nod was received in reply. “But you were upset when your sister wanted to stop playing with the ball and then decided to push her down?” Another nod. “I’m sure we taught you that we don’t push people when we get mad.”</p><p>“Yes, Papa.”</p><p>Adam knelt down on one knee to be eye level with Clara. “I see. Well, sweetheart. The way I see it is you made a promise to Helen and in this family, we don’t go back on our promises. So you have two choices. Either you can say you’re sorry to your sister and play with what she wants to play now. Or you and I can go inside the house for a discussion and time in the corner. Which one do you choose?”</p><p>A pout formed on Clara’s face as she thought over her choices for a few long moments. Neither one was very desirable in her eyes, but she knew one would definitely make life much easier on her. “I’ll say sorry.”</p><p>“Wise choice.”</p><p>Adam stood back up as Clara turned to face Helen. Adam watched the exchange to make sure she properly apologized. “Sorry, Helen. We can play with our dolls now.”</p><p>“Thanks! I’ll go get them now and bring them outside!” </p><p>As Helen ran off towards the front door and into the house to go find their dolls, Clara turned to follow her but was stopped short as Adam lightly grabbed her arm. He quickly turned her to the side and landed one firm swat to her backside before turning her back around. </p><p>At Clara’s hurt look, Adam explained. “That was for pushing your sister. You know better than to behave that way. You’re very lucky you aren’t getting any more than that.”</p><p>“Yes, Pa.” </p><p>“Go on now. It looks like Helen is ready and waiting for you.”</p><p>Adam watched as Clara joined Helen and started playing, then he headed back to the front steps and inside to get the refreshments. </p><p>Several minutes later, Adam returned outside with a tray with a plate full of cookies and a pitcher of milk with some empty glasses. He placed the tray on the little table in front of the chairs on the front porch before calling his children for a break. </p><p>It was no surprise that Clara and Helen came running up immediately. Not seeing his oldest, Nathan, he called out to him again. Finally, a small head was seen in the barn opening calling out that he would be there soon. </p><p>Nathan was very much like his father. Quite studious and hardworking. He was only nine-years-old, but he helped as much as he could with his younger sisters. However, like Adam, he did have a stubborn streak which got him into trouble sometimes. Overall, though, he was a great help around the ranch and a wonderful older brother. </p><p>And it was a good thing he was such a good older brother because he was about to become one again. Cecily is expecting and should be giving birth to a new Cartwright in a month or so. </p><p>While the entire family was very excited about this new addition, the twins seemed extremely excited. For them, it would be just like have another doll that they could play with, and it could play with them. Adam only hoped that the twins would adjust quickly to no longer being the youngest in the family anymore. He knew he could count on Nathan to give them pointers and help to occupy their time and keep them busy when both Cecily and himself were busy with the new baby. </p><p>Time would tell though. If problems arose, they would face them one day at a time. For now, sitting with his family, drinking some cold milk with cookies was all that mattered to him and that he had to worry about.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I’m going to try to update this at least once a month, but I work full time and life sometimes gets in the way, so I can’t make any guarantees. Also, feel free to let me know if there are any scenes or situations you’d like to see this family encounter. I have a general outline and plot up to about 15 chapters, but can adjust/add as needed or wanted. I’m also open to writing any prequels or sequel one-shots to this story (similar to my story Eternal Legacy that takes place in the future).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Just An Ordinary Family Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Sunday morning and the Cartwright house was in its usual flurry of activity. There was breakfast to prepare and eat, the trip to town for church services, and then it was off to Adam’s father’s house for lunch and much-needed visiting.</p><p>Adam finished tucking in his shirt before heading out of his room and down the hall to wake up his children. </p><p>First up were the twins. Softly opening the door, Adam stepped into their room. He walked over to the one bed they shared and leaned down, pushing back Clara’s slightly wavy blonde hair and Helen’s nearly straight chocolate brown hair before gently giving them a kiss on each forehead. </p><p>When neither opened their eyes at that action, Adam realized he’d have to take a different approach. He would love to just sit here and watch them sleep, but if they were to be on time for church this morning, he’d have to be a bit more forceful. </p><p>“Helen, Clara? Sweethearts? It’s time to wake up.” Adam gently shook each shoulder to get them to rouse from their deep slumber. </p><p>With a yawn and one gigantic stretch, Helen was the first to wake up. “Is it morning already, Papa?”</p><p>“Yes, it is. Why don’t you start getting your clothes ready while I wake your sister up?”</p><p>Helen pushed back her side of the covers and headed over to the armoire where all their dresses were stored. </p><p>Meanwhile, Adam gave Clara another light shake. She whined and turned to lay on her side, but she kept her eyes firmly closed. </p><p>“Clara, I know you’re awake.” Adam was met with silence. “All right. You leave me no other choice.” Adam reached over and started tickling her.</p><p>Clara squealed as Adam found the most ticklish spot on her, right on her sides. “PAPA… Stooop!” </p><p>“Are you up now?” Adam stopped in his tickling attack briefly before starting up again.</p><p>“YES… Please stoooop!”</p><p>“Okay, Okay. I need you to get out of bed and go pick out a nice dress for church this morning. I’ll stay here to help you both.”</p><p>As Clara slid off the bed, Helen returned to stand in front of Adam so he could button up the back of her dress and brush her hair.</p><p>“You look very lovely, Helen.” The teal dress with little white flowers on it was one of her favorites. </p><p>“Thanks, Pa.” </p><p>By the time he gave her hair a quick brush and braided it into one long braid down her back, Clara was ready for Adam to help her. She had also picked out her favorite, a pretty powder purple dress with some lace around the hem and neck. </p><p>“You also look very lovely.”</p><p>After helping Clara finish dressing, brushing her hair, and putting it into two long braids on either side of her head, he stood ushering his daughters into the hallway and telling them he had to go check on their brother. </p><p>Sending down twins down the stairs to their mother, Adam then headed to Nathan’s room. Giving a knock on the door, he was relieved to hear a reply from his oldest. </p><p>“Come in. I’m up.”</p><p>Adam opened the door, finding Nathan already dressed and at his dresser finishing up combing his nearly black short hair. </p><p>Adam leaned against the door frame watching him for a moment before calling out. “Are you almost ready, son?”</p><p>“Yeah, Pa. Just trying to get my hair to lay just right.”</p><p>“Well, it looks good from here. If it’s any comfort, I could never get my hair to look just right either. It appears you got that trait from me.”</p><p>Nathan slammed the comb down in frustration. Clearly, he wasn’t going to get his hair to look any better than it already was. He turned with a glare as he headed for his bedroom door.  “Thanks a lot, Pa.” </p><p>“Anytime, Son.” With a chuckle, Adam ruffled Nathan’s hair as he walked past him before they both headed to breakfast. </p><p>*****<br/>
Ten minutes later, the whole family was gathered around the large dining room table. The early morning sun shone on the table filled with plates and bowls of eggs, sausage, and toast along with an assortment of jams and jellies. </p><p>Adam reached over to pick up the bowl of eggs to start serving himself and the twins while Nathan served himself a couple sausages. </p><p>“Papa, can I have the strawberry jam with my toast, please?”</p><p>“Thank you for asking so nicely Helen. Yes, you may. What flavor would you like on your toast, Clara?”</p><p> Clara shook her head. “I don’t want any jelly or toast today.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I think there’s even some of that grape jelly you love so much.”</p><p>Clara just shook her head. </p><p>Adam raised his eyebrows and glanced over at Cecily, who only shrugged. Adam knew Clara should eat some toast, but if his wife wasn’t worried about it, he wasn’t going to be either. Plus, he knew how to pick his battles regarding his children. This just wasn’t one of those battles he wanted to deal with nor did he have the time to deal with an argument over toast this morning. </p><p>“Very well. Just know you won’t be able to have some later.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Adam watched as Clara dug into her eggs before turning his attention to his oldest. “Nathan, do you have any plans for when we go over to Grandpa’s house later today?”</p><p>“Unkle Joe sa he might teech me how ta ply ches.” </p><p>Adam cringed at his son’s response. “Nathan, don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s not polite nor very appetizing to the rest of us.”</p><p>Swallowing, Nathan answered his father’s question again. “Sorry, Pa. I said Uncle Joe said he might teach me how to play chess. I’ve been wanting to learn for a while now.”</p><p>“Hopefully, Joe will actually teach you how to play. From what I remember, he didn’t seem to know the rules or if he did, he chose not to follow them.”</p><p>Nathan tilted his head to the side, confused at his father’s response. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Uncle Joe liked to cheat when he was younger. I caught him almost every time. Eventually I just stopped playing with him.”</p><p>“Oh. Maybe I’ll ask Uncle Hoss instead.” Laughs sounded out around the dining room from both Cecily and Adam. </p><p>Checking the time, Adam needed to head outside to hitch up the wagon for the trip into town. Standing up he looked around the table of almost empty plates. “I’m heading outside to get the horses ready. We best hurry up if we want to make it on time.” Leaning over he gave Cecily a kiss, leaving Cecily to finish getting the children ready. </p><p>*****</p><p>Adam pulled the wagon to a stop next to all the other wagons in front of the church. Nathan jumped out of the wagon as soon as it stopped. Adam first helped his wife from the front before going around to the back and helping Helen and Clara out of the wagon. </p><p>The family then headed for the front door of the church. Inside, they found Ben, Joe, and Hoss already sitting in their usual spot. Adam’s children immediately headed straight towards them, the twins settling in between Ben and Hoss and Nathan sitting on the other side of Hoss with Joe on his other side. Adam and Cecily filed in after them, taking the seats at the end of the row with Adam next to Ben. </p><p>The service was longer than usual much to Adam’s children’s disappointment. They quickly grew impatient at having to sit for so long. Adam had to lean over his father and give the twins a tap on the shoulder twice and he had to give one stern glare further down the row to Nathan as a reminder to behave. Normally they didn’t even need one reminder. They knew if Adam got to three there would be some unpleasant consequences unusually involving them having to leave the service and Adam having to give them a few warning swats to behave. Still, this was pretty good for them and Adam was quite proud as they filed out of the church. </p><p>*****</p><p>Leaving the church, the Cartwrights line up to thank the preacher for another wonderful service. </p><p>Already losing patience after the long service, Nathan breaks into his mother’s thoughts while they were standing in line. “Ma, can we go play for a little bit?”</p><p>Cecily caught Adam’s eye asking the unsaid question. She received a nod in reply to allow the children to play. “Only for a few minutes. We have to head over to your Grandpa’s soon for lunch. Don’t wander too far and keep an eye on your sisters, as well.”</p><p>As the children ran off to find their friends, Cecily and Adam finished talking briefly to the preacher and then moved over to where Ben, Hoss, and Joe were socializing with several of their own friends.</p><p>“It’s so nice to see you, Cecily.” Cecily turned at the mention of her name to see Margaret Volden standing behind her with her husband Robert close by. </p><p>The Volden’s owned the local tailor and seamstress shop. Margaret took care of the orders for children and women with her husband focusing on the men. Between the two of them, they had eight children; the oldest was a girl almost 18 and the youngest a boy a year younger than the twins. The rest of the children were speckled between those two about one every couple of years. While the Volden’s tried to be friendly, they were just one of those families that Cecily and Adam were annoyed with more often than not. Most times, they tried to avoid the family altogether if at all possible. </p><p>“Thank you, Margaret. It’s good to see you too. How is everything at home?”</p><p>“Busy. It sure keeps you on your toes when you have eight children to keep track of and care for. You’ll know how that feels soon from the looks of it.” She motioned to Cecily’s stomach which by now looked as if it was about ready to burst. </p><p>Cecily blushed as she felt Adam’s hand on her shoulder. “Yes, only about a month to go now. I’m sure we’ll be able to handle everything just fine, though. Don’t you worry. If we need help, you’ll be the first on our list to consult.”</p><p>Adam could feel Cecily starting to get a bit aggravated. Normally she had a sweet and quiet disposition, but when something got under her skin, she could become fiery. This subtle hint that they won’t be able to handle the house or children after the baby is born, was one of those times. In her opinion, they made it through having a 4-year-old and infant twins; this time would be a piece of cake.  </p><p>It was time for Adam to intervene before this conversation went much further. “Well, we really must be going. Cecily?”</p><p>Cecily was grateful for the interruption and eagerly hooked her arm in Adam’s when he offered it to her. </p><p>“Good day, Mrs. Volden.”</p><p>Seeing that Ben was about done with his own conversation, Adam gathered his children up, returning back to their wagon. With everyone loaded up and seated, they then headed off in the direction of Ben’s ranch house. </p><p>*****</p><p>Back at Ben’s house, lunch was finishing up. Ben always went overboard with his Sunday lunches. It was to be expected as this was the one time his entire family was able to gather all together without the stress of ranch work. </p><p>“Pa, do you mind if I leave the table so I can go set up the chessboard.” Clara and Helen had already left minutes ago and when the conversation started to turn towards more grownup things, Nathan quickly got bored. </p><p>“Sure, go right ahead.” </p><p>Little Joe watched as Nathan left the table quicker than a jackrabbit. “Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave as well.” Joe then left to go find where Nathan had set up the board. </p><p>A couple minutes later, Joe found his nephew sitting with his back to him at the little table by his father’s office. The board was already set up and he was slowly lining up the chess pieces. “You all ready for your first lesson?”</p><p>Nathan looked up startled at his Uncle’s voice. “Oh, hi, Uncle Joe. Actually, I think I’m going to have Uncle Hoss teach me how to play.”</p><p>Joe was a little surprised at this statement as Nathan had been talking about his first lesson with him for over a week now. “Oh, really? Why the sudden change?”</p><p>“Well, well…” His voice trailed off as Nathan looked back down towards the board.</p><p>Joe pulled out the other chair at the table and after turning it around, straddled it putting his hands on the back of the chair. “Come on, Nate. You know I won’t be upset. I just want to know why.”</p><p>Hesitantly, Nathan looked up at his uncle to see if he really wasn’t upset. Not sensing any anger on his face, Nathan explained his reasoning. “Well, Pa might have told me you used to cheat a lot when you were younger. Guess I just want to learn how to play correctly and fairly without cheating.”</p><p>“Ahh, I see. Well, I’ll go get your Uncle Hoss then.” Joe stood back up and replaced the chair before heading back towards the dining room. </p><p>Back at the table, Little Joe sat down in his spot with a thump. </p><p>“What’cha doing back here little brother? I thought you were going to teach Nate all about chess.”</p><p>“Well, I was. But it appears the reputation about my playing skills got spilled.” Little Joe shot Adam a dirty look. “It appears he wants Hoss to teach him now.”</p><p>Adam put his hands up in surrender at Joe’s glare towards him. “Hey, don’t be blaming me. All I told Nathan was that you always cheated when you used to play with me. It’s the truth, and you know I don’t lie to my children.”</p><p>“Guess I better get over there then. It’s not your fault you’re a perpetual cheater.” Hoss let out a chuckle and gave a big slap on the back to Joe as he walked past him on the way to the chess table. </p><p>*****</p><p>A couple hours later, Joe and Hoss headed outside to start the evening chores. Ben, Cecily, and Adam had been talking in the great room for the last few hours and they were all overdue for some late afternoon refreshments. </p><p>Ben returned to the great room carrying a tray of coffee for Adam and himself and tea for Cecily. After placing it down on the big table in front of the fireplace, he helped himself to the coffee before settling himself down in his favorite red chair. </p><p>“So the new baby is going to be here in about a month. Have you two decided on names yet?”</p><p>Adam looked over at Cecily before responding. “Well, for a girl we both like Lily and Sarah, but I really love a simple name like Mary.”</p><p>“And I think I like a pretty name like Grace if it’s a girl. Now if it’s a boy, I’m partial to Samuel.” </p><p>“And what about you Adam? Which names do you like if it’s a boy?”</p><p>“I also like Samuel, but I’m also leaning towards Daniel or Oliver.”</p><p>“Well, you both have plenty of names to choose from. You might be able to use most of them if you end up having triplets this time.”</p><p>That statement made Cecily choke on her tea. “Oh no, Mr. Cartwright. Doctor Martin has assured me that there’s only one in here.”</p><p>“I’m sure Paul knows what he’s doing, but didn’t he say the same thing about your last pregnancy?” </p><p>Cecily gave a small nod in agreement as she reached out to grasp Adam’s hand.</p><p>“Pa, I’m sure Doctor Martin is right this time. And if he’s not, well, we’ll deal with that when it comes. All that matters right now is that my wife is healthy and happy.” Adam gave Cecily’s hand a little squeeze. </p><p>“Of course, you’re right, son. I didn’t mean to scare you, Cecily. I’m sure the new child or children will be as lovely as your other three.” No response was given, but they all looked up to where Nathan was now sitting over in the corner by the staircase talking quietly to Clara and Helen.</p><p>*****</p><p>With the birth only a month away, Nathan figured it was time to let the twins in on some of the secrets and tips on being a big sibling to their new brother or sister that he learned when they were born.  </p><p>“You know Mama is about to have her new baby soon?” Nathan looked expectantly at both of his sisters to make sure they were listening.</p><p>Clara and Helen sat in front of Nathan near one of the corners of the great room. They stared up at their older brother, nodding in reply at his first question.</p><p>“Things are likely going to change around the house after the new baby is born.”</p><p>Nathan had only begun talking, but Clara was already becoming anxious about where this conversation was going. “Change? I don’t want things to change.”</p><p>“Well, Mama and Papa will still love us and continue to do stuff with us. But they will have to spend time with the baby so they won’t be able to spend as much time with us as they do now. The baby can’t do anything for itself, so they have to help it all the time.”</p><p>“Uh-huh.”</p><p>“You will both have to be patient with both Mama and Papa. I remember both of them being a little worn out and tired. You can’t keep pestering them about stupid things or they might lose their temper with you.”</p><p>“Hey! We don’t do that!” </p><p>Nathan rolled his eyes at that response. “Sure you don’t. Anyway, you both won’t be the babies in the family anymore. You two will have to share the attention with your little brother or sister.”</p><p>Two pouts were received in reply; neither Helen nor Clara liked the sound of that. They liked being the babies in the family and having everyone dote over them.  </p><p>“Hey, none of that pouting. It really isn’t that bad. Once you’re an older sibling, you will get to teach the baby how to do things especially as it gets older. And if you ask Mama nicely, she may even let you help feed the baby. It will kind of be like taking care of your dolls, but this ‘doll’ can play and interact with you. You will have to be gentler with it than you do with your own dolls, though. You know what? Maybe you can pretend your dolls are the new baby over the next couple of weeks. You can practice being gentle and caring for them like it’s a real baby. What do you think?”</p><p>The twins looked at each other before turning back to Nathan and nodding. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Maybe if Mama sees that we’re practicing, she’ll let us help when the baby is here.”</p><p>“Exactly. I think you’ll both like being older sisters.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Preparations & Hiccups</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you all had a great holiday season! My apologies for the delay in getting this chapter out. I had hoped to publish it about a month ago, but after one of my cats, Topaz, passed away at the end of November, I had no motivation to write. I think I’m finally out of my writing rut and I hope this chapter was worth the wait.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cecily looked out the kitchen window as she heard a wagon pull into the yard. She noted that it was only her husband returning home and turned her attention back to the dirty breakfast dishes sitting in the sink. Several minutes later she heard the front door open as he returned to the house. </p><p>Adam passed Helen and Clara playing in the main room with their dolls before joining his wife in the kitchen giving her a soft kiss on the neck.</p><p>She turned around, returning the kiss. “Did Nathan make it to school without any problems?”</p><p>“Yes, my love. Everything went according to plan. Speaking of plans, what do you have planned for today?”</p><p>“Well, I have some chores around here. Then I have to make a trip into town this afternoon to pick up some baby supplies. I plan to take the girls with me and then we can pick Nathan up after school for you.”</p><p>“Perfect. I do hope you will spend some time resting as well. You shouldn’t be pushing yourself in your condition.” Adam’s hand moved to gently rest on Cecily’s belly. </p><p>“I’ll be fine, Adam. I’ve done this twice before. Any big plans on your schedule for today?”</p><p>“My father requested my assistance at his place for a few hours this morning. Something about an ornery cow. Then I’ll spend most of the afternoon in the barn working on a special surprise for you.”</p><p>“Oh, a surprise? Please tell me! You know how I can’t wait for surprises.” Cecily’s eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning.</p><p>Adam fixed his wife with a playful glare. “Not a chance. You better not go peeking in the barn while I’m gone either.” </p><p>“We’ll see.” She returned his glare with her own playful smirk before turning her attention back to the sink.</p><p>*****</p><p>It was finally afternoon and Cecily had just pulled the wagon up in front of the mercantile. She made sure the brake was in place before making her way to the ground. She then helped her two little helpers, Helen and Clara, down who each had their dolls in their hands. </p><p>Helen asked before they left if they could bring their dolls with them. They wanted to start putting Nathan’s suggestions to practice and thought shopping in town would be a perfect place to start. Under normal circumstances, toys weren’t allowed to be brought on town outings. Too many were lost in the past and the tears that followed after the child realized it was missing was something that could be avoided by leaving the items at home altogether. However, this time Cecily had several things to pick up before the new baby arrived. Having the girls bring their dolls would occupy their time and keep them distracted while she shopped. </p><p>Hand-in-hand-in-hand, they walked down the boardwalk a few steps before stepping inside the store. </p><p>“Good morning, Mr. Bell.”</p><p>“Ah…good morning Mrs. Cartwright. What can I help you with today?”</p><p>“I’m here to stock up on some baby supplies.” She gestured towards her ever-growing belly. “It’s about time for this little one to meet everyone and I want to make sure we have everything we need.”</p><p>“Sure, sure. If you follow me, I’ll take you over to the baby section.”</p><p>Cecily turned to the twins who were standing behind her having a quiet conversation with their dolls. “Girls. I’m going to head towards the back of the store with Mr. Bell. Why don’t you two go check out the books? You can pick one out for us to read to the new baby and one you think you both might like. If I’m not done by then, you may check out the penny candy.”</p><p>“Thanks, Mama!” </p><p>After watching them scamper off, she turned to follow Mr. Bell. </p><p>A half-hour later, Cecily had chosen a couple new pre-sewn baby outfits and was in the process of looking at the different feeding options for infants. She knew she needed some new bottles as well as some little utensils for when the baby got a little older, but there were so many different options to choose from making the decision process extremely difficult. </p><p>It was then that she heard a squabble coming from the side of the store. She instantly recognized the voices as her own girls. Sighing, she headed over to where the voices were coming. </p><p>As she approached, she noticed each girl kneeling on the floor with their dolls on the floor between them. Each girl had a hand on a large picture book, trying to pull it out of the other’s hand. </p><p>Clara pulled the book towards herself. “This is MY choice. Find your own.”</p><p>“Mama said to pick one out together.” Helen responded by yanking the book back in her direction.</p><p>Cecily had finally reached the girls and leaned down to put an end to this argument before it got much worse. “Girls, everyone in this store can hear your little argument. You were told earlier today to behave while Mama shopped.”</p><p>“But she started it!”</p><p>“Nu-uh.”</p><p>“I don’t care who started it. I have a little more shopping to do, then we have to pick up your brother before we head home. Please behave for a little while more.” She gave them each a pointed look, then turned to head back to the baby section. </p><p>Twenty minutes later, everything she needed was piled on the front counter. Included in the pile was a nice picture book for the new baby, the book Alice Through The Looking Glass for the girls that Adam or herself could read to them before bed, as well as a small penny bag of candy for the girls to share with their brother. </p><p>After paying for the items, she made sure the girls had their dolls and after loading up the wagon headed to the schoolhouse to pick up Nathan before making their way back home. </p><p>*****</p><p>Adam was busy working in the barn on Cecily’s surprise, a new cradle for the baby. He looked up as he heard the wagon pull up outside, pausing his work on the project. He heard his children laughing and figured Cecily had returned from town. He also figured he had about 45 minutes left to work on the cradle before he had to wash up and start helping with supper. </p><p>Upon returning home, Cecily sent the children into the house. Nathan went up to his room to start on his homework while the girls stayed in the main room to play with their dolls. Cecily meanwhile had some pies she needed to make before supper and was grateful to have all the children busy with other activities so they weren’t underfoot.  </p><p>The twins wanted to continue practicing with their dolls as Nathan suggested. Everything went smoothly for about a half-hour, then chaos erupted. </p><p>“You know I’m going to be the best at taking care of the baby.” Clara adamantly declared while glancing up at her sister sitting next to her on the floor.</p><p>Helen briefly looked up to her sister as she dropped her doll down on the wooden floor after pretending to feed it some carrots. “Are not. I’m just as good as you.” </p><p>“Nu-uh. You’re being too rough with your doll. Mama is never going to let you help.”</p><p>“That’s not true. If anyone is too rough, it’s you.”</p><p>“Am NOT! You’re just dumb. You don’t know anything!”</p><p>“I do too know things! I’m much better at taking care of my doll than you.”</p><p>“Liar! You’ll be lucky if Mama or Papa even let you hold the baby.” Clara had now moved from her sitting position to a standing position. </p><p>“You’re so mean!” Helen followed Clara’s lead and also stood, hoping she could get her point across better if she was standing. </p><p>“You think I’m mean? I’ll show you mean!” Clara reached over and grabbed Helen’s doll. She then proceeded to twist off its head and throw it across the room. “Take that. When Mama sees what happened to your doll, she won’t let you even come near the baby.”</p><p>That was the end of the rope for Helen. She launched herself onto her sister, pushing her to the ground. Before they knew it, they were trying to hit each other as only little children could all while rolling around on the floor. </p><p>It was only a few minutes before they felt their mother’s grasp on each of their arms pulling them off the ground and away from each other. </p><p>“That’s enough! What has gotten into you two today?” When she didn’t get a response, she sent them both to opposite corners in the main room, warning them that she will be fetching their father in a few minutes. </p><p>Almost on cue, Adam happened to return from working out in the barn. He took in the scene of not one, but both of his little girls standing in separate corners. Laying on the floor was a doll discarded. Another headless doll lay nearby. A quick scan of the room indicated the head was on the floor, but over by the bookshelf on the other side of the room. </p><p>Cecily was in the kitchen making what smelled like cherry pies to him and decided to consult with her about what had transpired in the main room. </p><p>“Cecily, dear. Would you mind filling me into what happened out there? It looks like a mini battleground.”</p><p>She turned at the sound of her name before setting the large spoon down that she was using to mix the pie filling. </p><p>“Oh, Adam. They’ve been in one of those moods all day.” </p><p>She then went on to tell him all that happened in town and what she thought occurred only minutes before. “I immediately sent them both into a corner. I was going to let them stand there a few minutes while I finished getting the pie filling ready before I went and got you.”</p><p>Adam’s anger and disappointment grew in his daughter’s behavior as his wife unveiled the story to him. He always thought of the twins as being the babies and not capable of getting into too much trouble. As much as he wanted to keep them that way, they were far from it. His four-and-a-half-year-old daughters were old enough to know how to properly play with others and how to treat their toys and that did not include shouting at each other nor destroying their toys.  </p><p>“Thank you, Cecily. I’ll take it from here.” Adam walked back into the main room, ready to take control of what just happened. </p><p>“Helen Rose, Clara Ann. Turn around, please.” Adam waited for them to both slowly turn away from the corner and face him. </p><p>Clara had her hands folded over her chest and had quite the scowl on her face. Helen, on the other hand, looked nervous and apologetic. “Your mother has told me some of what happened. I still have a few questions for you, but we will continue this conversation upstairs.” He nodded to the stairs. “Go on. I’ll be up in a few minutes and I better find you both continuing your corner time up there.”</p><p>Both girls quickly headed for the stairs before starting up them. Helen quietly hurried up the stairs. Clara’s ascent was a little more forceful, stomping halfway up the stairs before she was stopped short by Adam’s voice.</p><p>“Clara! I’d stop stomping up those stairs if I were you. Unless, of course, you’d like a taste of what’s to come in a few minutes.”</p><p>Clara hesitated, debating whether to continue to let her frustrations out on the stairs or to not make matters worse for herself. She chose the wiser route and continued up the rest of the stairs quietly. </p><p>Back downstairs, Adam turned from where he was still staring at the stairs as his name was gently called. “Adam.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Please don’t be too hard on the girls.”</p><p>“Sweetheart, they are almost five-years-old. They are old enough to know right from wrong and how to play nicely. What they did this afternoon, wasn’t playing nicely.”</p><p>“I know, but this has been a difficult time for them knowing they’re going to have a new brother or sister soon and knowing they won’t be the babies in the house anymore.”</p><p>“I understand and know how they’re feeling; I had to go through it twice. But I also know what they did today was unacceptable.”</p><p>Cecily only offered a pleading look to her husband. </p><p>“I have some more questions for them and want to find out exactly what happened down here today before I make any final decisions on punishment. I promise I won’t be too hard on them. They’ll live to see another day and get into mischief again.”</p><p>“Thank you. That is all I ask.”</p><p>*****</p><p>Adam ascended the stairs and headed down the hall to the girl’s room. As he reached their room and looked in, he wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Helen in one of the corners following his instructions and Clara sitting on the bed with her back to the door, not in a corner as she was instructed. </p><p>“Clara! I believe I told you to find a corner, not to sit on your bed.”</p><p>Clara’s back stiffened as her father called her name but didn’t move from her spot on the bed. As she heard Adam’s determined steps coming closer, though, she quickly bounded off the bed and into the corner closest to her. </p><p>Adam sighed as he took a seat on the edge of their bed. He let them stand there a few minutes while taking a few calming breaths before calling them over to him. </p><p>“So, I’d like to know what happened down there.” When he was met with silence, Adam prompted Helen to start the explanation.</p><p>“Well, we were playing with our dolls. Nate told us to play as if they were a real baby, so we’d be ready when it came.”</p><p>Adam made a mental note to let Nathan know later how proud he was that he came up with such a good suggestion. “I see. The main room looks like you had quite the argument while you were playing.”</p><p>“Yeah. We were playing nicely at first. It was all Clara’s fault. She started saying mean things to me.”</p><p>“I DID NOT!”</p><p>At that outburst, Adam reached out and gently grabbed Clara’s arm, turning her slightly to the side and landing a stinging swat on her bottom. “We do not shout at each other! We are going to talk nicely to each other without yelling or interrupting. If you are unable to do that, you can spend a few more minutes in that corner.”</p><p>Clara wanted to put up a firm front, but after one glance at her father, she wilted under his stern gaze and agreed not to have any more outbursts. </p><p>“Thank you. Now, I happen to believe your sister. Your mother said she heard you specifically start an argument. However, she also said she heard both of you yelling back and forth at each other for several minutes.” </p><p>Both girls hung their heads, knowing they were both to blame for this little incident. </p><p>“Now, Clara. I’d like to know exactly what you were arguing about and what mean things you said to Helen.”</p><p>Clara might have agreed not to have any more outbursts, but it didn’t mean she was happy or sorry for what she said or did. She was determined not to have her father know all of what happened. </p><p>Adam waited for several long seconds, before addressing her. “I’m waiting.” He was only met with the best glare an almost five-year-old could produce. “You’re skating on very thin ice, young lady. If I were you, I would answer my questions before you find yourself in more trouble.”</p><p>“I only said I would be better at taking care of the new baby. I might’ve said Helen was dumb and didn’t know how to take care of one. I said Mama would be asking me all the time and not her.” Clara quickly returned her eyes to the floor, a bit ashamed of what she actually said to her sister. It seemed much worse now than when she first said it downstairs. </p><p>“I see. And Helen, when Clara said that, you shouted at your sister.”</p><p>“Yeah. I tried to tell her nicely that I am good at taking care of babies, but she kept saying those things over and over. I guess I yelled because she was yelling.”</p><p>“You both know that yelling at each other is wrong, correct?” Two small nods were given in reply. “Do either of you want to tell me what happened to the one doll that lost her head?”</p><p>Silence. Not surprising. Adam never liked to confess what he did when he was a child either. It always made things seem worse when he said them out loud. </p><p>“Let me take a guess. Clara, you were upset. You grabbed Helen’s doll and twisted the head off then threw it across the room. Helen, you then pushed your sister down because she ruined your doll. Does that sound right?”</p><p>Two ‘yes Papas’ were offered in response. </p><p>“It seems you both were in the wrong today. You cannot be yelling, arguing, and fighting with each other. If you have a problem or have concerns about what has been said, you need to come to your mother or me.”</p><p>“Clara plant yourself in one of the corners. Helen, come with me. We’ll finish up in my bedroom.” Sure, the girls shared a room, and he had no qualms about completing the lecturing in the same room. It actually saved him from having to repeat himself. However, if it turned out they both needed a spanking, he preferred to do that separately to give them both a little privacy. He knew from experience as a child, it was awful enough knowing you were due for tanning, it was ten times worse if others happened to be around. For that reason, he tried not to punish his children in the company of others, whether that was other family members or out in public. </p><p>*****</p><p>Arriving in his room, he sat on the bed while pulling Helen close to him. “You know why you’re about to be punished, right?”</p><p>“Yes, Papa, ‘cause I got in a fight with Clara.”</p><p>“That’s right. You know better than to fight with your sister or yell at her.”</p><p>At Helen’s small nod, Adam moved her over to his side before guiding her across his knees. He then proceeded to apply four firm swats to the little bottom which set the girl in a torrent of tears. </p><p>After helping her up, Adam held her, offering soothing words of comfort until Helen’s cries became mere sobs. </p><p>“I-I’m s-sorry.”</p><p>“I know you are, sweetie. Just remember next time not to let Clara get you all riled up.”</p><p>“I’ll t-try.”</p><p>“That’s a good girl. Why don’t you head downstairs and see if your Mama needs any help? I heard she’s making some cherry pies and I have a feeling she might need a special helper.”</p><p>Standing up from the bed, Adam and Helen walked into the hallway together before going their separate ways. He found himself sighing again as he realized punishing Clara likely wouldn’t be as simple as it was with Helen. </p><p>*****</p><p>He returned to the twin’s room and found to his surprise, Clara was still in the corner. He settled himself on their bed deciding there was no need to take her to his room with Helen downstairs. </p><p>“Clara you can come out the corner now.”</p><p>Clara turned around but refused to move from her spot. </p><p>Adam raised his hand and crooked a finger beckoning her to come over. “Please come here.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Clara, get over here now.” He firmly pointed to the spot right in front of him. </p><p>Clara had no intentions of moving. Instead, she slid down the wall until she sat on the floor with her back against the wall. She simply gave a firm shake of her head.</p><p>“You have been pushing your luck recently, young lady. I’ll give you to the count of three to stand up and come stand in front of me. If you continue to disobey me, I’ll be forced to get your mother’s hairbrush. </p><p>At that, Clara’s eyes got wide. Adam had never used a hairbrush to punish her before, but she had heard her Grandpa threaten to use it on Nathan and even remembered her Pa actually using it on him a couple times. She knew it must hurt worse than a normal spanking because all she remembered were all the tears coming from her brother on those couple of occasions. </p><p>“One...Two...” Adam had silently hoped she would obey; however, it was clear she had no intentions of moving. “Three.”</p><p>“Very well.” Adam rose from his spot and headed down the hall to his room to fetch his wife’s brush. </p><p>When he returned to the room, Clara was standing by the bed, her eyes immediately darting to the brush in Adam’s hand. </p><p>“I’m ready. Pl-please Papa, you don’t have to use that.” Her voice started to break as sobs started upon the realization that Adam was serious about what he said a few minutes ago.</p><p>“I’m very sorry, but you continued to not listen after I gave you multiple chances to mind me.”</p><p>“But I’m mi-minding n-now.” Tears were now freely streaming down her face. </p><p>“I know and thank you for finally listening. Papa gave you several chances to listen a few minutes ago though. I promised I’d use the brush if you didn’t obey and you know Papa always keeps his promises.” </p><p>“I-I kn-know.” Big, fat tears continued to roll down her face. Adam couldn’t help but feel just a little sorry for her. </p><p>“I’ll tell you what, if you continue to mind me, I’ll only use it for one swat.” He had only intended to use it once at the end to begin with, but she didn’t know that and if calmed her down a little, that’s all that mattered. </p><p>“Okay-y.”</p><p>Adam returned to his position on the bed while moving his daughter in front of him. “Good girl. Now, I first want to know why or what put you in this mood you’re in today?” </p><p>Adam only received a shrug from Clara. </p><p>“Come, now. I know you better than that.”</p><p>“It’s nothing.” Clara turned her gaze to the floor. </p><p>“I don’t buy that. Something is definitely the problem. You might be naughty some days, but you are hardly ever repeatedly naughty like you have been today. Please tell Papa.”</p><p>There was a long moment of silence before Clara spoke so softly Adam had to strain to hear her. “I’m just scared Helen will actually be a lot better at taking care of the baby. What if I’m a bad big sister?”</p><p>Adam reached out and gently used his finger to raise her chin so he could make eye contact with her. “Listen to me, you won’t be a bad big sister. Not everyone is perfect, but that’s what makes you different from anybody else. Your new sibling will love you no matter what.”</p><p>“You really think so?”</p><p>“Sure I do. Remember Papa has been through this twice when he was a little boy. It’s scary every time. When it comes time to help, there might be things you’re better at and other things your sister is better at helping with. You just have to remember, you might not be the best at everything and that’s alright. Does that make sense?”</p><p>“Yeah. Thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. Now, back to the business at hand. Can you tell me why you’re about to be punished?”</p><p>“ ‘Cause I argued with Helen and said mean things to her. Umm…and I also fought with her and hurt her toy.”</p><p>“That’s right. Anything else? Did you listen to me when I told you to do something?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“No indeed. You didn’t listen several times.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>“I appreciate the apology but it doesn’t erase the consequences for what already happened. Let’s finish this up.” He moved her over to his side and pulled her over his lap as he did with Helen. </p><p>He administered the same four swats as he did only moments earlier with Helen, then reached over for the brush. As promised, it was brought down only once on her tiny bottom. In all honesty, Adam hardly used any force behind it and in his opinion, he wouldn’t have even considered it a swat at all. On the other hand, on top of the four previous swats, it was probably more painful than it normally would have been. </p><p>As soon as he was done, he helped settle her on his lap offering words of comfort as she continued to cry into his shoulder. Several minutes passed before she was calm enough and her cries had lessened. </p><p>“Papa hated doing that and doesn’t want to punish you again. He will though if you can’t behave. Try to remember next time to mind me the first time and if you have concerns about your sister, you are to come to Mama or me. Okay?”</p><p>“Uh-huh.” A yawn escaped as she looked up towards Adam’s face.</p><p>“Why don’t you stay here and take a short nap? I’ll be up to get you when supper is ready.”</p><p>“Okay, Papa.”</p><p>She was asleep before he even tucked her under the quilt. He made sure the curtains were closed a considerable amount and then quietly left the room. </p><p>*****</p><p>After supper, Adam returned to the barn to continue working on the cradle for Cecily. He looked up as he heard the barn door open and slowly close. A second later, Nathan stepped into the soft light of the lantern near the back of the barn.</p><p>He briefly looked up at his son before returning his focus to the cradle. “Is everything alright?”</p><p>“Yeah. Ma is getting the twins all settled for bed.” </p><p>Adam nodded at the response. He will need to be heading back inside soon to say goodnight to them. Looking back up at his oldest, he could tell there was something more on his mind. “Are you sure everything is alright? You appear troubled.”</p><p>Nathan moved from his spot at the stall opening to sit on the crate next to his father. “I guess. I just feel bad about what happened with the twins today.”</p><p>“Ah. They told me it was your idea to practice on the dolls.” </p><p>Nathan gave a small nod in reply. “I thought it would be good for them to practice so when the real baby comes, they would know a little about taking care of it.”</p><p>“It was an excellent idea.”</p><p>“It doesn’t seem that way. All it did was get them in trouble.”</p><p>Adam put down the sandpaper he was using to smooth the wood of the cradle and turned to give his son his undivided attention. “That was not your fault. Your sisters are old enough to own up for their mistakes and know right from wrong.” Still seeing the gloomy expression on his son’s face, Adam tried to add a little humor to lighten the mood. “Plus, it’s better to get these hiccups out of the way now before the baby comes. You would hate to have them try to pull off the real baby’s head and throw it like they did this afternoon with the doll.”</p><p>At that, Nathan gave a little giggle. “You’re right, Pa.”</p><p>“You’re a wonderful brother. I’m proud of how grown up you’ve been acting recently. Taking your younger sisters under your wing is something to be admired. Most boys your age could care less about their little, annoying sisters. They’re lucky to have you looking out for them. Thank you for that.” </p><p>Nathan moved to embrace his father in a hug. “Thanks.”</p><p>Adam returned the hug before pulling slightly away to address Nathan. “Unfortunately, it’s not going to end here, or in a couple years; you’re going to helping them the rest of your life. Trust me, I know. Being the oldest, I’m still helping your uncles get out of their own troubles and giving them advice. The new baby, whether it’s a girl or a boy, will need your help and guidance just as much as the twins. You are going to have your hands full, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“That’s okay, Pa. I like giving advice and helping them. It kind of comes with the role of being the oldest.”</p><p>“You’re a smart boy. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m glad you’re my son. Why don’t we call it a night and head back inside? I have to say goodnight to the girls, then we can play a couple games of checkers before you head to bed yourself.”</p><p>“Sounds great.”</p><p>Adam made sure the lantern was extinguished before wrapping an arm around his son’s shoulders on their way back to the house.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Love's Greatest Joy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the last Wednesday of April and a little over two weeks before the baby was due. Cecily was immensely behind on spring cleaning this year. Time was quickly running out to get the house clean before the baby arrived. She knew she had to get the cleaning done now, though, as there would be absolutely no time at all after the baby was here. Cecily took the twins over to their Grandpa Ben’s place for the day so could finally take advantage of the mild mid-spring day to get several chores checked off her list without the added distractions. </p>
<p>The entire morning found herself catching up on the laundry including washing all the bedspreads and sheets. It was a mostly tedious task, but one that needed to get done if they wanted clean clothes for the next week. After hanging up the wash to dry in the warm spring breeze and helping herself to a light mid-day meal of a simple ham sandwich, she decided to tackle the dust that had steadily built up on every surface of the house over the winter. </p>
<p>She pulled out the short step ladder that was kept in the kitchen and dragged it into the main room. She was so preoccupied with dusting the bulky bookcase that she failed to hear the sound of horse’s hooves and the jingle of harnesses from the doctor’s buggy outside. </p>
<p>“Anyone home?”</p>
<p>“In here!” She shouted to the mystery visitor while keeping her attention on the dust.</p>
<p>As Dr. Martin stepped into the house and headed in the direction of Cecily’s call, he was shocked at what he found. “Cecily!” </p>
<p>Cecily gripped the top of the ladder and looked up at the somewhat harsh call of her name before pushing back a stray lock of hair. “Oh, good day Dr. Martin. I had forgotten all about our appointment today.” </p>
<p>“Cecily, you should be taking it easy. You’re too close to your time to be teetering on top of a step ladder.”</p>
<p>Cecily rolled her eyes at the doctor being too cautious. She wasn’t a porcelain doll after all. “Really, doctor. You worry too much. I’ve not had any problems yet. I did exactly this kind of cleaning with my other children and never ran into any issues then either.” </p>
<p>“That may be so. However, you are now in your 40s which adds a new level of risk to this pregnancy. I worry you may be in for a difficult time with this one. You must rest more. I don’t want to see you have any more problems than you might already be facing in the next couple of weeks.”</p>
<p>“Well, I have quite the list of spring cleaning chores that must be done before the baby arrives and unfortunately the house won’t clean itself.” Cecily began her careful descent from atop the small ladder. </p>
<p>The doctor gave a small chuckle at Cecily’s response. “I admire your energy and ambition, but I’m serious Cecily. You’re too far into your pregnancy to be engaging in such strenuous chores. You’re not as young as you were when you had the twins.”</p>
<p>She had reached the safety of the floor and turned to properly address the doctor. “Oh, honestly, doctor. I feel even younger now than I did then.”</p>
<p>“You may feel that way, but your body knows how old you are. You need to be resting and taking it easy from now on. I’m going to make sure Adam knows that as well and makes you follow it.”</p>
<p>The doctor gave her a pointed look before turning and heading out the front door in search of Adam. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Adam had just finished putting the children to bed when he returned to the main room. Cecily was sitting in her favorite chair close to the fireplace working on some shirts that needed mending that she found while doing the laundry earlier that day. </p>
<p>He settled into the chair across from her watching her silently for a minute as the light from the fireplace danced across his face then cleared his throat. “Cecily, we need to talk about a few things.”</p>
<p>“Can’t it wait? I’m in the middle of sewing these shirts.”</p>
<p>Adam knew the mending had to be done, but he also couldn’t forget about what Dr. Martin had told him today. “How about I talk while you listen and sew?”</p>
<p>“Sure.” </p>
<p>“Dr. Martin told me he found you fully engaged in spring cleaning this afternoon.”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh.” Cecily kept most of her focus on her sewing while still letting Adam know she was indeed listening. </p>
<p>“You know you are supposed to be relaxing, not cleaning the house from top to bottom. First, you’re making long trips to town and now you’re wearing yourself out by cleaning the entire house.”</p>
<p>“The cleaning has to be done. It won’t get done unless I do it and that’s all there is to it.” </p>
<p>“Well, the doctor gave me strict orders to make sure your rest these last few weeks. No more cleaning. No more trips to town. No more household chores. Either the children or I will help you with the cleaning as well as the cooking and anything else that needs to be done around here.”</p>
<p>At this statement, Cecily finally put down her sewing with a huff giving Adam a fierce glare. “You can’t expect me to lie in bed all day.”</p>
<p>“No, but I don’t want you doing any housework. You are to read or sew or anything else that’s non-strenuous.”</p>
<p>“And just how are you going to stop me? You go to work most days. You will have no idea what I do while you’re gone.”</p>
<p>“I’ve already talked to the ranch hands. I’ve set up a schedule with them to have one of them with you if I’m not here.”</p>
<p>“Don’t be silly, Adam! I’m not a child that needs someone watching me all the time.”</p>
<p>“No, you’re not, but you do need someone around to remind you to take it easy. Plus, I’d feel more comfortable with someone here in the house when I’m gone in case you go into labor.”</p>
<p>Adam could tell Cecily did not like this arrangement. “Honey, I know you’re not happy, but don’t look at it as a restriction for you, but something to help me. You know all I want is for you to be safe and healthy. It will put my mind at ease to know someone is here with you.”</p>
<p>“Fine, but what about the twins while you’re gone? I’ll still have to take care of them all day.”</p>
<p>“I’ve already talked to my father. He’s agreed to have them over at his house while I’m not here.”</p>
<p>Cecily contemplated what her husband had said to her over the last couple of minutes. She liked to be busy, but resting for a couple weeks might not be too bad. Plus she could understand Adam’s concerns and she didn’t want to worry him any more than necessary. “All right. I guess I can live with this for a couple weeks. Don’t think that I’m going to continue this sedentary lifestyle after the baby is born, though.”</p>
<p>“We can discuss that later. It’s not my intention to keep you resting forever, but if the doctor advises it for a few weeks after the baby is here, we will have to consider doing just that.”</p>
<p>Cecily gave Adam another glare without another word. She then returned her attention back to her sewing as Adam got up to get himself a cup of coffee. He knew Cecily wasn’t going to take his decision well, but all things considered, it went better than he had anticipated. However, he had a feeling this might be the longest couple weeks of both of their lives. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Fortunately for Adam, there were no complaints from Cecily about the new guidelines over the coming weeks. However, there were some complaints from his children. While the twins loved going to their grandpa’s place, it became a bit tiresome. Nathan on the other hand was in school most days, but when he got home, he had to be quiet to let his Ma rest. </p>
<p>Adam saw the frustration start to build between his children and sought to keep them as occupied as possible outside the house after he returned from work. There were a couple days they went to the local pond to do some fishing and nature hunting with Adam pointing out various animals and plants to the children. He tried to make it fun by setting up a small scavenger hunt where they had to find certain nature items like pinecones, leaves, and stones that were in the small wooded area. </p>
<p>On another day he set up a cookout in the evening where they cooked their favorite campfire dinner of meat pies. This was probably one of the easier and least confrontational meals for Adam to make while Cecily continued to relax. There was no complaining that someone won’t eat string beans or carrots or that someone wanted chicken instead of beef because each person picked exactly what vegetable or meat they wanted in their little pastry pie. Besides it being a fairly easy meal, it was just plain fun for everyone as it was a bit like a campout, yet the house was still within sight in case Cecily needed him or they needed to get back quickly.  </p>
<p>Today, though, it was the weekend, and he wasn’t just keeping them busy for a few hours before bed, he had to keep them busy all day. After telling Cecily to go lie down for a few hours, he told the children he had a special project for them to do today. </p>
<p>Out in the barn, he gathered his children around the now finished cradle. It was the first time they had seen it complete. </p>
<p>“Well, what do you think? Do you think the new baby will like it?”</p>
<p>The cradle was beautifully crafted with some decorative stars and moons carved around each edge. </p>
<p>“I think the baby will love it a lot.” Helen praised while admiring the small item. </p>
<p>“Yeah, Pa. If this cradle is any proof, the baby is going to be truly spoiled.”</p>
<p>“Yes, it will, just as each of you were when you were babies.”</p>
<p>Clara hadn’t said anything yet but had moved closer to gently touch the cradle. “It’s so pretty Papa. Is it done?”</p>
<p>“Not quite. I need some help putting on some stain. Do you think you and Helen would like to help me?”</p>
<p>Adam received two enthusiastic replies before turning his attention to Nathan. “Over in the corner your Uncle Hoss carved some wooden animals for the new baby to play with when it gets a little older. While your uncle is good at whittling, his attention to details and painting small things isn’t the best. He thought you might like to do that honor for him and make them look more realistic.”</p>
<p>“You bet!” He instantly bounded over to the workbench to retrieve the wooden animals and extra paint that was stored in the workroom.</p>
<p>They all worked hard and diligently over the next several hours without any disagreements, much to Adam’s relief. At the end of the afternoon, they had one finished cradle that looked like it could be used by a king and a whole collection of various farm and wild animals ready to be played with when the paint finished drying. </p>
<p>As they left the barn to head back inside to get dinner started, Adam got lost in his thoughts once again. Indeed, this was going to be one spoiled child, but as long as it was loved and healthy, that’s all that really mattered to him. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Four days later, Adam was jolted awake at the sound of his wife stifling a moan of pain and rapidly sitting up in bed while clutching the bedspread. </p>
<p>“Sweetheart, are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I think so, but I think it’s time to have this baby.” </p>
<p>Even in the dark, Adam could see Cecily close her eyes in pain as another contraction gripped her body. He quickly got out of bed and put on his robe and boots. Making his way down the hallway to the stairs, he descended them as quietly as he could, so as not to wake up the children. </p>
<p>Stepping into the main room, he took a peek at the clock sitting on the mantle above the fireplace that was softly illuminated by the glow of the dying embers in the fireplace. It was a little after 2 AM. He stifled a yawn as he wondered why women always seem to go into labor in the middle of the night. </p>
<p>He reached for the handle on the front door but stopped just short of opening it. Although it was the 9th of May and the days were warm, there was still a chill in the air at night so he wisely put his coat on loosely not bothering to button it up. He then headed outside toward the direction of the bunkhouse. </p>
<p>The hands were less than pleased to be woken up in the middle of the night. For the second time that night, Adam found himself silently cursing Mother Nature for not allowing his wife to go into labor at a more convenient time. Despite all the grumblings, his hands were more than willing to assist Adam with whatever he needed. He ended up sending this top hand, Hank, into town to get the doctor. He then sent Jesse to go to his father’s ranch to inform them it was time. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Upstairs, Adam heard the arrival of his father, brothers, and Hop Sing. Adam smiled to himself at the thought that his father brought the entire family over. In all honesty, it was actually a comfort to know they were all here. </p>
<p>Several minutes later, Hop Sing and Ben were all gathered in his room, with Little Joe and Hoss hanging back near the door frame. Not getting up from his wife’s side, he told Hoss and Little Joe to go into Nathan’s room. The children had awoken not long after Adam returned from the bunkhouse and after herding them all into Nathan’s room, he told them to stay there. While they had obeyed so far, he knew they must be worried about their mother. If anyone could occupy their time and keep them distracted it would be his brothers. </p>
<p>That left Ben, Hop Sing, and himself in the room with Cecily. Adam had been mentally keeping track of the time between contractions. He was no doctor, but he knew from previous experience that she probably had another hour or two before it was time. Gauging the time, he knew the doctor should also be arriving soon as well which will help put his mind at ease just a little.  </p>
<p>“Mister Adam, Mister Ben. Go get hot water, clean towels, and blankets. Get room ready for doctor.” </p>
<p>While Ben nodded in response, Adam was reluctant to leave Cecily’s side and remained perched on the edge of the bed, holding his wife’s hand tightly. </p>
<p>Hop Sing just stood there with his hands on his hips, waiting for Adam to comply. </p>
<p>Ben leaned down, placing a reassuring hand on Adam’s shoulder and softly whispered in his ear. “Adam, she’ll be okay with Hop Sing. Let’s go get those items for the doctor.”</p>
<p>Adam hesitated for a long second, before releasing Cecily’s hand, giving her a kiss on the forehead, and following his father out the door. As they descended the stairs, Adam noticed that Little Joe and Hoss had moved the children from Nathan’s room to the corner of the main room that contained many of the children’s toys. The children sat on the floor while it appeared Hoss was telling an animated story to them. Each had a glass of warm milk and a small cookie near them as well. Adam smiled once again at how well his family knew just what to do and what he needed at the right moment. It was a smart move on his brother’s part as it was out of the way and would keep them occupied for the time being. </p>
<p>Ben headed to the kitchen to get the hot water, while Adam went to the closet where they kept extra linens. They were both returning to the stairs when Dr. Martin entered the house. </p>
<p>“Oh good, doctor. You’ve made it.” Relief stretched across Adam’s face at the sight of the doctor. </p>
<p>“Where is Cecily?”</p>
<p>“She’s up in our room. Hop Sing is looking after her while we got some supplies for you.”</p>
<p>“Good, good. Bring them up for me.” Dr. Martin led the way back up the stairs with Ben and Adam following close behind. </p>
<p>Back in the room, Dr. Martin did a quick assessment of his patient before shooing everyone out of the room except Hop Sing. The doctor had done enough births over the years to know that it was in the best interest of everyone involved if blood relatives remained outside the room. </p>
<p>Hop Sing on the other hand, while he was treated like family in Ben’s house, at the end of the day, he was really only their cook and housekeeper. Plus, he knew Hop Sing had assisted with plenty of births in the past and would be a great help to him without the emotional ties that a family member might bring to the situation. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Adam and Ben joined the rest of the family downstairs. Ben took a seat in one of the padded armchairs while Adam took to pacing back and forth across the room. The children were still enthralled with Hoss’ story and didn’t even notice their Pa or Grandpa had come back downstairs. Well, Nathan was still listening intently; the twins had started to nod off in Joe’s lap.</p>
<p>Time seemed to slow down and what seemed like hours was only minutes. Adam couldn’t help but continue to pace incessantly. He stopped every few minutes to glance up the stairs. </p>
<p>“Son, why don’t you sit down. If you pace much more, you’re going to wear the floor out.”</p>
<p>“I can’t Pa. It helps calm the nerves if I’m moving.” </p>
<p>Ben nodded. He knew exactly how his son felt having been there three times himself. “I understand.” </p>
<p>Nearly a half-hour passed before Adam finally stopped his endless pacing. Everything was quiet, much too quiet in his opinion.</p>
<p>“Are you all right?”</p>
<p>“Something’s wrong Pa, I can sense it.”</p>
<p>Ben took a moment, tilting his head to see if he could hear anything from upstairs. “Hmm…I don’t want to admit it, but you might be right. I don’t hear anything coming from the room.”</p>
<p>“Exactly, babies are supposed to cry when they’re born.”</p>
<p>It was at that moment that they heard the bedroom door click open and Dr. Martin slowly appeared at the top of the stairs. One look at his face confirmed Adam’s fears. </p>
<p>Adam waited for the doctor to make his way down the stairs before asking the dreaded question. “Doc, is everything all right?”</p>
<p>Dr. Martin frowned and then let out a shaky breath before moving closer to both Adam and Ben. “Sadly, no. Unfortunately, I ran into some complications during the labor. Why don’t you sit down so I can let you know what happened?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. An Angel Is Born</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Previously:</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p><i>Adam waited for the doctor to make his way down the stairs before asking the dreaded question. “Doc, is everything all right?</i>”</p>
<p>
  <i>Dr. Martin frowned and then let out a shaky breath before moving closer to both Adam and Ben. “Sadly, no. Unfortunately, I ran into some complications during the labor. Why don’t you sit down so I can let you know what happened?”</i>
</p>
<p>The doctor took a seat in one of the chairs, then waited until Adam was sitting to give his explanation. “As I expected, the birth was quite difficult and it took its toll on Cecily. The baby was breached, to begin with, but I managed to turn it to the proper position without too much difficulty. Despite this, it appears some hemorrhaging still occurred sometime during the birth.”</p>
<p>“Oh no.” Adam felt his heart quicken as the doctor revealed the news he didn’t want to hear. </p>
<p>“It took me a while to get the blood to stop and as a result, your wife lost a lot of blood before I could successfully get it to stop completely. It’s stopped for now, but it’s only temporary. I’m not going to lie to you, Adam, the prognosis doesn’t look good.”</p>
<p>His breath caught in his throat as he struggled to get words to form. “Are you, are you saying my wife is going to die?”</p>
<p>Dr. Martin shifted his gaze away from Adam as he felt tears begin to build in his own eyes. Most of the time, he enjoyed being the town’s doctor, helping to cure people of their illnesses and make them feel better. However, in times like this, he hated his profession. No matter how many times he had to do it, it never got easier, and it was even harder when he was a long-time friend of the family. </p>
<p>“Yes. She’s alive for now, but she lost so much blood and is so very weak. Even if she survived that, there’s a high chance of infection setting in. I’m so sorry.” Dr. Martin turned back to Adam as he reached out a hand across the table to touch Adam’s arm. </p>
<p>Unable to take the heartbreaking news, Adam bowed his head down into his clasped hands and silently let out a few tears. It took Adam a few moments for him to gather his thoughts and get his emotions back in check. That’s when he realized why his wife was even in this position in the first place: she was supposed to be having a baby. </p>
<p>Adam slowly lifted his head again, almost scared to even ask the dreaded question as he wasn’t sure if he could handle any more heartbreak. “What about the baby?”</p>
<p>Dr. Martin smiled at Adam’s question. “It’s a healthy baby boy.” He was glad he could provide Adam with a small ray of hope in this tragic time for him and his family.</p>
<p>“Are you sure? I didn’t hear him cry earlier and babies normally cry when they are born.”</p>
<p>“Most babies do just that, but there are some that do not. Trust me, Adam, your new son is one of the healthiest babies I’ve seen in a long time.”</p>
<p>“Well, that’s a relief at least.” Adam lowered his head back down to his clasped hands as he stared off into the fireplace. </p>
<p>Several long minutes passed before the doctor broke into the silence that had enveloped the room. “I don’t want to rush you, but Cecily wants to see you and the children before things take a turn for the worse. If I had to guess, she will pass sometime this morning.”</p>
<p>Adam shifted his gaze back to the doctor. “I understand.”</p>
<p>Dr. Martin stood up from his spot. “I’ll let you wake your children up and I’ll meet you all back in the bedroom in a few minutes. Would you like me to tell Ben and your brothers what’s going on?”</p>
<p>Adam didn’t think he had the mental stability right now to make the announcement to his father, especially not after he’d have to tell his children. “Thanks, doctor. I’d appreciate it if you’d let them know.” </p>
<p>The doctor gave Adam an encouraging pat on the back as he walked past him towards his family. He didn’t envy what Adam had to do and knew he needed all the support he could get. The next few minutes and hours and even days were going to be an emotional roller coaster.  </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>After hearing the doctor explain what happened, Adam knew there wasn’t much time left. He looked over at his children still sleeping nearby. As much as he would love to let them sleep, he knew saying goodbye to their mother was more important right now. A quick glance at the clock confirmed that it was nearly dawn anyway, so Adam felt less guilty about waking them up. </p>
<p>Adam shook Nathan awake first, then moved over to the twins. As expected, it took a bit of effort to get them to wake, but eventually they both let out a yawn and a stretch. </p>
<p>“Is it already morning, Papa?” </p>
<p>“Did Mama have the baby?”</p>
<p>Adam choked back a sob. “I’ll answer all your questions in a minute. First I need to talk to you all for a couple moments.”</p>
<p>“I’m too tired. Can you carry me?”</p>
<p>Adam scooped down to pick up Clara as Helen wiped the last of her sleep from her eyes and followed them over to where her brother was already sitting on the settee. </p>
<p>He sat down, continuing to hold Clara while Helen sat to his right and snuggled up next to him. Adam wrapped his free arm around her and began to tell them what happened. </p>
<p>“Now, your mother did have the baby. It’s ─”</p>
<p>“Yipee! Is it a girl or a boy?”</p>
<p>“If you’ll give me a minute I’ll tell you. What I need to say to all of you is really important. Please don’t interrupt me again.” </p>
<p>“Sorry, Papa.”</p>
<p>“As I was saying, the baby is here. It is a boy, but your Mama is really weak. Having the baby was very hard on her body. Unfortunately, the doctor says she probably won’t recover.”</p>
<p>Helen lifted her head confused at what her father just told her. “What does that mean?”</p>
<p>Adam looked down at her before glancing over to Nathan who was sitting on her the other side. He could see he was slowly processing the information and after a few seconds, his eyes went wide as his brain finally worked out exactly what his father was trying to tell them. </p>
<p>Adam took in a deep breath raising his hand up to stroke Helen’s disheveled brown hair. This was not something he had ever wanted to try to explain to his children. “What Papa means is that your Mama is dying.” </p>
<p>If Clara wasn’t awake before, she was wide awake now. “WHAT? Mama can’t be dead! I didn’t get to tell her goodbye!”</p>
<p>“Shush… She’s not dead yet, but she did lose a lot of blood giving birth to your little brother and is now very weak. We’re going to go up there in a minute and tell her how much we love her and say goodbye. But, as I said, the doctor expects she won’t make it past this morning.”</p>
<p>Within seconds, the nearly silent room was filled with the sound of all his children sobbing. At the sight and sound of his children crying, Adam failed to hold back his own tears anymore and gave himself permission to let out his own grief as well even if it was just for a moment.  </p>
<p>Adam gave them all a few minutes to allow the initial shock to sink in while he attempted to dry his own tears. “I know you are all still very sad and that’s all right. I’m quite sad myself, but if you want to say goodbye, we will need to go up to the room soon.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go Pa.” Nathan was the first to get off the settee determined to be brave for his younger siblings.</p>
<p>Adam stood, placing Clara down on the floor before leading the way to the stairs. His own father and brothers had all hung back while Adam had his private moment with his children. He gave them a quick nod as they started up the stairs letting them know they were headed up to see Cecily. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Adam knocked softly on the bedroom door and then opened it a smidgen. Doctor Martin and Hop Sing were both still in the room and looked up at the knock before gesturing for Adam and his children to enter. </p>
<p>“We’ll let you all visit privately for a few minutes.”</p>
<p>Adam nodded to the doctor as he took a step inside the bedroom and waved at his children to follow. </p>
<p>Cecily was laying as comfortable as possible on the bed holding the new baby. Adam helped adjust the twins up on the bed next to her while Nathan took a seat near the foot of the bed. </p>
<p>“Mama, he’s so big already.”</p>
<p>“He is indeed. Would you like to hold him?” </p>
<p>Helen looked up hesitantly at her father who gave her a nod that it was all right to hold him if she wanted. “Sure.”</p>
<p>After adjusting Helen so her back was against the headboard, Adam helped Cecily pass off the new baby. </p>
<p>“What’s his name?” Cecily looked up towards the end of the bed as Nathan spoke for the first time since entering the room.</p>
<p>“We decided on Samuel Lee after my father, and your other grandfather. I hope one day soon you’ll be able to meet him.”</p>
<p>“I like it.” Nathan smiled as he thought that the name will be a good remembrance to his mother after she has eventually passed. </p>
<p>“Mama? Papa says you’re dying.” Adam couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that statement. Leave it to Clara to get right to the point.</p>
<p>Cecily gave a quick glance up at her husband before continuing. “Yes, I am honey. I’m very weak right now and don’t feel my best. I wanted to see you all before I left though.”</p>
<p>It was at that statement that the sobs began again for Clara and she leaned down to hug her mother around the chest. Adam made a move towards the bed to pull Clara away but was stopped short by Cecily motioning for him to stop. This was all she wanted to do before her time came and she wasn’t going to have Adam stop her. </p>
<p>She could see even in the dimly lit room that Nathan’s eyes were starting to glisten with tears as well. She waved her hand to tell him to come over to her side as well. </p>
<p>“I want you all to be good for your father after I leave. Your grandpa and uncles will probably be around a lot more too helping around the ranch and with daily chores. You all need to make me proud by listening and obeying them. Do you think you can do that?”</p>
<p>Clara just nodded against her waist, while Helen and Nathan promised they would try to behave.</p>
<p>Cecily laid her head back against the headboard as she continued to hold her children. Adam could tell she was getting weaker by the minute, but allowed his wife this opportunity to cuddle their children one last time.</p>
<p>He let them stay there for almost a half-hour before he felt it was time to usher the children out of the room. Helen handed Samuel back to her father while Cecily and the children exchanged one last kiss and hug. He waited for each of his children to tell their mother how much they loved her before he sent them back downstairs to Ben. He planned to stay a little longer in the room to have his own private final moments with his wife. </p>
<p>Hearing the bedroom door click shut, he finally let out all the emotions he had been holding inside all morning as he collapsed on the bed next to Cecily. </p>
<p>“Oh, Cecily! How am I going to go on without you?”</p>
<p>“You need to be strong, my love. Our children will need you now more than ever.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t supposed to go like this. You were supposed to have the baby and we were going to raise him together. We were going to grow old together in this house and watch our children have their own children someday.”</p>
<p>“I know. God has bigger plans for me though.”</p>
<p>“This might be selfish, but I think he could have bigger plans for you here with me.”</p>
<p>Cecily gave a small chuckle with what little energy she had left. “Can you do one thing for me?”</p>
<p>“Anything.”</p>
<p>“You have to tell Samuel all about his Mama when he gets older. And make sure Nathan, Helen, and Clara never forget me.”</p>
<p>Adam choked back a sob. “Sure, my love.” </p>
<p>With her energy waning quickly, Cecily shut her eyes and leaned her head back again. Still holding the baby, Adam readjusted him in his arms so he could reach out and touch his wife’s face gently. When she barely responded to his touch, he knew it was time to get the doctor back in here. He leaned down for one last kiss on her lips, whispering ‘I love you’ into her ear, before leaving the room with Samuel in search of the doctor.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The next day, Nathan watched from a distance as his mother was gently laid into the silk-lined casket. He was surprised at how fancy it was inside, but then again, he supposed his mother deserved the very best. There was even a little pillow for her to rest her head upon. Once her body was in the casket and her head was adjusted, the undertaker laid a lacy white sheet over her. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought his mother was just taking an afternoon nap. </p>
<p>Once everyone had said their final goodbyes, the undertaker and his men closed the lid, screwing it in place. The casket was then taken out to the horse-drawn hearse so it could be moved to the gravesite where the preacher was waiting. </p>
<p>Adam looked over his children one last time making sure the tie around Nathan’s neck and the black lace bows in both of the twin’s hair was straight. After giving his own hair one last look in the mirror by the front door, he ushered his children outside to the awaiting procession.  </p>
<p>After helping his children into the buggy that would follow the hearse, Adam helped himself up onto the seat near the edge. The buggy was being driven by one of the undertaker’s assistants so Adam wouldn’t have to think about driving on such a mournful day. </p>
<p>They barely got off their property when the sun ducked behind the clouds. Adam remembered his father saying that nature can sometimes sense our own moods and then reflect them back to us. He never really thought much about it, but maybe there was some truth to that statement. </p>
<p>No words were spoken. The only sound was the gentle clopping of horses’ hooves and jingling of harnesses as they made their journey towards the gravesite. </p>
<p>Adam craned his neck to the left to look over at his children. Clara had wrapped her little arm around Adam’s and had rested her head down on it, while Helen was leaning against her older brother in a similar fashion. The twins were both so young. Did they fully understand what had happened and how much their lives were going to change now? </p>
<p>And then there was Nathan. Not quite grown up, but grown up enough to be able to do most chores around the ranch. The exception would be the chores associated with the cattle drives. That would come in time, probably within the next few years. One thing was for certain, Adam would need his help and support now more than ever. </p>
<p>As far as Samuel goes, he was riding with Ben and Adam’s brothers in the buggy right behind him. Adam shook his head as he felt the tears threaten to spill over as he thought about how he’d never know his wonderful mother. Would Samuel turn out to be a well-rounded citizen without that mother figure? Sure, he grew up for most of his life without a mother and he turned out all right, but it’s not something he’d wish for his worst enemy let alone his own children. He had always thought that Cecily and himself would grow old together, living to a ripe old age and watching their children have their own children. There were so many dreams and adventures they were supposed to have together that would now never be fulfilled. This was not in his plans. How could this even be in God’s plans? No, he had to stay strong right now for his children. That’s the only thing that mattered to him right now. The time for grief and even anger would come later. </p>
<p>Finally, they arrived at the graveyard and pulled up near the open gravesite. It was eerily silent with the only sound being the creaking of the buggy as they all got out and walked over to where the preacher was already standing. </p>
<p>As they waited for the rest of his family and friends, Adam couldn’t help but stare at the deep, empty grave. It seemed like such a cold and cruel place for his beloved wife to rest for eternity. The only comfort was knowing she would be inside her casket, safe from all the harshness of the world. </p>
<p>Adam looked up as the pallbearers carefully gripped a handle on the casket and moved it from the hearse over to the gravesite.</p>
<p>It was then that the preacher began the funeral service, but Adam barely heard the words. Instead, he silently prayed his own set of prayers both for himself and for his deceased wife. The twins flanked him on either side, crying openly while Nathan had his eyes closed, clearly sending up his own prayers as well.  </p>
<p>When it was time to lower the casket, the pallbearers clenched their fists around the ropes that would be used to lower the casket into the ground. Once the casket was safely resting at the bottom, the preacher picked up a handful of dirt and tossed it into the grave, saying “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We ensure in solemn hope of the resurrection to eternal life. Amen.” He then invited everyone gathered near the grave to throw in their own handfuls of dirt. </p>
<p>“Hey! Don’t throw dirt on my Mama!” Clara screamed and then buried her head into Adam’s side. Adam looked down at Clara, but otherwise offered no chastisement for her outburst. It was a confusing time, and she didn’t understand that this is what needed to happen for her mother to find eternal peace. </p>
<p>Nathan reached over and pulled Clara over from their father, wrapping his arms around her as she stood in front of him. He wanted to yell just as much as his little sister, but he needed to be strong and brave for both her and Helen right now. </p>
<p>As the service came to an end, Adam half-heartedly shook the hands of all those who offered their condolences to him and his family. Slowly the people thinned out, but Adam wanted to stay to the very end to make sure Cecily was properly buried. Ben leaned over and whispered in Adam’s ear that he would take the children back to his house. Adam could only respond with a short nod. </p>
<p>When the grave was filled to Adam’s satisfaction, the undertaker approached Adam. “Mr. Cartwright? I can drive you to your father’s house if you like.”</p>
<p>Adam continued to stare at the mound of dirt marked by an elaborate granite headstone with the following inscription carved into it:</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p><i>Cecily Cartwright</i><br/>
<i>May 9, 1872</i><br/>
<i>Beloved Wife and Mother</i><br/>
<i>Forever in Our Hearts</i></p>
</div>He made no verbal response, but instead gave a solemn nod to the undertaker. The undertaker gently led him back to the buggy, helping him up the narrow step.<p>As they slowly drove away from the site, Adam looked up to the sky. The sun had remained hidden throughout the service but had just started to peek back out. As a ray of sunlight hit his face, he could have sworn he saw an angel appear. Adam readjusted his head to get a better look, but it was gone. In its place, a beautiful white dove sat on a pine tree branch. A second later, it flew off and disappeared over the tree line. </p>
<p>He might have seen a dove, but Adam knew in his heart it was Cecily’s angel. While the past couple of days had been difficult for him and his children, he knew it was only going to get worse in the coming weeks as they adjusted to life without a wife and mother. Adam’s only wish was that Cecily’s angel would be watching over them, gently helping and supporting them along the way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: I know some of you readers may be disappointed in this awful turn of events, but this is the vision I had all along for this story. Unfortunately, this type of outcome was much more common back in the 19th century than it is now. I want to stress, though, that this is not the end! There is still much more I have planned, so I hope most of you will stick with the story. In the meantime, go hug (even if it’s just a virtual hug) those you love because you never know when it will be the last time. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Falling Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam arrived back at Ben’s house after the funeral to find his children already changed out of their church clothes and playing outside. All three ran up to him as he stepped out of the buggy and started to head toward the house. Ben was preparing a big, early supper that wouldn’t be ready for a few more hours, so after he gave each of his children a hug, he headed into the house to clean up and change into more comfortable clothes himself. </p>
<p>Stepping into the house, Adam noted his father and brothers all sitting in the Great Room engaging in quiet conversation. He quickly side-stepped them on his way to the stairs noting that Samuel was sleeping soundly in a cradle near the fireplace. Ten minutes later, he returned to join them wearing his casual black pants and a dark grey button-up shirt. He took a seat in one of the empty armchairs as Ben offered him a brandy. </p>
<p>“No, thank you. I wouldn’t mind a coffee, though, if it isn’t too much trouble.”</p>
<p>“Not at all. Hop Sing!” Ben waited until the Chinaman appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. “Could you bring out some coffee for us as well?”</p>
<p>“Sure thing, Mister Ben. Be out right away.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Ben turned his attention back to his sons who had returned to chatting with each other. Well, Hoss and Joe were talking while Adam was seemingly lost in his own thoughts. </p>
<p>With the arrival of the coffee, Ben interrupted Joe and Hoss. “Why don’t you two go outside and find Nathan and the twins. You can show them the new baby foal that was born a few weeks ago.” At Hoss and Joe’s confused expressions of their father’s request, Ben nodded towards Adam who was still oblivious to the activity happening in the Great Room. </p>
<p>Seeing Adam’s vacant expression, they both understood that Ben wanted to speak to Adam alone. “Sure, Pa. Come on, Joe. Let’s go find those youngins.”</p>
<p>Ben waited for the door to softly click shut before addressing Adam. “Adam? Son?” When he got no response, he reached across and gently placed his hand on his leg.</p>
<p>His father’s touch drew Adam out of his reverie. His eyes locked with Ben’s for an instant before he spoke. “I’m sorry. Were you talking to me?”</p>
<p>Ben let out a deep sigh. “Adam, I’m worried about you.” He held up a hand to silence Adam as he opened his mouth to object. “No, I want you to hear me out. I’m worried about you. You and Cecily waited so long to find one another and then when you did, you were inseparable. You two were meant for each other. I know that losing her is like losing a part of yourself. But she bore you four wonderful children so it’s a little like she lives on in them. </p>
<p>“You need your time to grieve the loss of your wife and the children need to grieve the only mother they’ve ever known. They also need you to try to keep their routine as normal as possible, so they know that just because their mother is gone, nothing is going to change. Grief is a tricky emotion to begin with, but it’s even more tricky with children. They sometimes have a hard time expressing their emotions and feelings. It might not hit them until weeks or months down the road and then they might let it all out at once. It’s going to be difficult these next several weeks and even months, but those children need you to be strong and someone they can rely on. </p>
<p>“Unfortunately, what I see from you right now in this room, you aren’t doing that. You’re becoming isolated and ignorant of what’s going on around you. As I said, you do need to grieve, and it’s important that you do, but there’s more than just you that you need to think about. You don’t want to follow in my footsteps and repeat the behaviors I exhibited after Marie died. I didn’t handle that situation the way I should have, and I know that now. I hope this is all making sense to you.”</p>
<p>Adam was silent for a minute while he pondered everything his father had just told him. “I know you’re right, but it’s just so difficult and even a little daunting and overwhelming when I think about everything that needs to be done now without Cecily’s help.”</p>
<p>“Perfectly understandable. Just remember you have not only me but also your brothers you can rely on for help. As you know, I’ve been through losing a wife three times before so there’s a good chance I’ll know what you might be experiencing. You are welcome to come to me with questions or concerns or even just to talk to if you need to let out your thoughts and emotions. Your brothers might not have experienced what you went through before, but they are also good listeners and are more than happy to help you sort out those confusing emotions. Don’t hesitate to ask any of us, any time of the day. We all know it’s going to be difficult for a while.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” </p>
<p>Ben was happy to see Adam give him a small smile as it showed that what had been said was actually sinking in and he was returning ever so slightly back to the Adam he knew a week ago before Cecily passed. </p>
<p>Conveniently, it was at this moment that little Samuel let out a cry to be fed signaling an end to any further private discussion. “Well, it looks like your little man is hungry for his supper. You better watch him, Adam. If he keeps eating like this, he’ll be bigger than Nathan in a year!”</p>
<p>Adam let out a small laugh at his father’s joke before standing up from the chair and heading to the kitchen to get a bottle for Samuel. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Supper was an uneventful affair with everyone eating their fair share of baked ham, rosemary roasted potatoes, corn, cheese crescents, and apple cake for dessert. After all the dishes and silverware were cleared from the table, washed, and put back in their rightful spot, Adam told Ben that it was time to leave so he could get the children home and ready for bed. </p>
<p>As the children headed out to the buggy, Ben pulled Adam aside once more. “Remember what we talked about. Ask if and when you need help, either physical or emotional help. We’re all here to support you.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Pa.” Adam nodded in understanding and appreciation. </p>
<p>Ben nodded in return. “I’ll be over in a couple weeks to have supper at your place and to make sure you’re coming along all right.”</p>
<p>“Looking forward to it.” Adam joined his children who were already settled in the buggy, handing Samuel off to Nathan. Once he was on the buggy seat, he snapped the reins and drove them all home.</p>
<p>Ben stayed out on the porch watching the buggy leave the yard until it went behind the barn. He then sent up a silent prayer to Cecily and each of his own wives to watch over Adam these next couple of weeks. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but with the children’s help and his family nearby, he had full confidence in Adam making it through this next challenging time in his life. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Over the next week, Adam tried his best to cope with not only losing his soulmate, but also becoming a single father. The first few days were easy, almost too easy. Nathan had been excused from school to allow himself time to grieve and to be with his family. He helped out immensely around the house showing his father how to do things that Cecily would have taken care of before. The special practice the twins did with their dolls seemed to pay off as well. They were more than eager to help Adam give Samuel a bottle or keep him occupied while Adam cleaned or did the laundry. </p>
<p>However, after those first few easy days, things started to become more difficult. Adam not only had to keep up with the housework, but also look after a newborn. Plus, with spring upon them, there was more ranch work to be done than ever before. Adam felt like he hardly had enough time in the day to do everything. The children helped out as much as necessary, but Adam tried to also give them time to still be children and to grieve. </p>
<p>Grieve. </p>
<p>With everything else that had to be done, Adam hadn’t found time himself to grieve. One thing Adam had learned throughout his life was that everyone handles grief differently. Some just carry on as nothing happened, only to have grief hit them months or years down the road or maybe never at all. Others, take a few weeks to openly grieve, but then spring back knowing life has to continue. And still others lock themselves away in a room or house for days, weeks, months, unable to cope with the loss of someone or something, burying themselves into a bottomless pit of despair. </p>
<p>Most people combined a few of the scenarios and did what felt right to them. What Adam did know through his many experiences with loss was that he needed some time to grieve before getting back to life. This was something he hadn’t been able to do up to now, but he knew he had to make the time.</p>
<p>Therefore, chores started slipping. His children’s needs were never neglected. Food, clean clothes and bedding, a warm house, and plenty of love still showed up every day, but Adam did start to cut some corners. Dishes piled up; laundry wasn’t being done as often as it should have been. If the children’s play clothes weren’t visibly dirty, he allowed them to play in them for several days. Instead of washing dishes after every meal, they were only washed once a day. </p>
<p>Adam was beginning to understand why his own father had left for a time to be by himself after Marie died. It was almost too much to handle between trying to keep the house and ranch going, taking care of the children, and trying to grieve. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>As promised, Ben arrived at Adam’s house for supper a couple weeks later. It was quiet as he pulled up into the yard. He brought his horse to a stop before dismounting and leading it to the barn. He settled his horse in one of the empty stalls, but not before noticing that some of the barn chores weren’t done as well as they normally would have been done. The horses all had grain and water, although, it didn’t look like any fresh water was put out today. He noticed the stalls were also only half cleaned. He knew his son was always meticulous about the barn chores, so this wasn’t like him. Fearing the worse, he rushed out of the barn, taking determined strides across the yard and into the house. </p>
<p>Failing to knock, Ben barged into the house scanning the main room for any signs of his son. Instead, he was greeted with ‘Hi Grandpa!’ from his three oldest grandchildren. Startled, he turned in the direction of their voices finding Clara playing with her dolls near the corner of the room and what appeared to be Nathan reading a book to Helen near the fireplace. </p>
<p>“Grandpa, are you all right?”</p>
<p>Ben ignored his oldest grandson’s question, intent on making sure Adam was safe. “Where’s your father?”</p>
<p>“Upstairs taking a nap. He told us you were coming over for supper tonight and said we could play quietly until you arrived.”</p>
<p>Ben visibly relaxed knowing his son wasn’t hurt or in danger. “Ah. I see. I’ll be sure to let him know you all followed his instructions. I’m sure he’ll be very proud of you all.”</p>
<p>A sad look grew across Nathan’s face before he gave a shrug in response. He doubted his father would care as much as his Grandpa seemed to think. It seemed like the last few days he didn’t seem to hardly notice him, his sisters, or baby brother much at all. They still had meals together and he was there to get them ready for the day in the morning and again to tuck them in at bedtime, but mostly they were left to their own devices during the day while his father disappeared to his bedroom or the barn.</p>
<p>Ben noticed the shrug and sad look that formed on his grandson’s face and his heart went out to the boy. He knew this couldn’t be easy for any of them. “If you’ll excuse me. I’ll go get your father as it’s almost time to start getting supper ready.”</p>
<p>He knocked softly on Adam’s door before opening it to find Adam lying on the bed sleeping. He leaned over the bed and called his name while shaking him lightly to get him to awake. </p>
<p>Adam flipped on his side to see his father standing next to the bed. “Oh, hello, Pa. Is it supper time already?”</p>
<p>“Nearly.” Ben waited next to the bed while Adam stretched and yawned before throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. “Come on. I’m sure you can find a couple young chefs willing to help you tonight.”</p>
<p>Adam threw his father a sly grin as he sat up from the edge of the bed and headed for the bedroom door. </p>
<p>Back downstairs, Adam was able to persuade Helen and Nathan to help him prepare supper. Ben watched the three of them head into the kitchen before he turned back around to the main room. It wasn’t until now that he noticed just how much not only the main room but also the dining room was in complete disarray. A messy barn was one thing, but to have their living space disorganized and chaotic was entirely different. Ben decided then that he would need to have a small chat after supper with Adam before he left. </p>
<p>The next hour passed quietly with Clara continuing to play with her dolls. Ben picked up and began to read the latest edition of the Territorial Enterprise that was lying on the side table clearly unopened. He glanced up from the article he was reading in the newspaper every few minutes as the table was set and bowls of side dishes made their way from the kitchen to the table. Sensing it was almost time for supper, Ben folded the paper, placed it back on the table beside him, and called out to Clara to put her dolls away and wash up. </p>
<p>“No. I’m not done playing.”</p>
<p>“I understand, but you can continue playing after supper. Now it’s time to put away your toys and get ready to eat.”</p>
<p>“I said NO! I only have to listen to my Pa, and you’re not him.”</p>
<p>Ben’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, before looking to Adam for support. He had just brought out a plate of sweet potato cobbler to the dining room table and Ben had hoped he heard the last part of that statement from his daughter. However, one look at Adam and he could see he was lost in his own thoughts and plainly struggling with grief. He was clearly just going through the motions of getting supper ready unaware of anything else happening around him so he made no motion to support Ben in his simple request to his daughter. Evidently, Ben would have to take things into his own hands. </p>
<p>“Young lady, I asked you nicely to do something for me, twice now. It’s almost supper time and I need you to put away your dolls so we can finally eat.”</p>
<p>Clara didn’t even look up from her toys at this last statement from her grandpa and continued to play with her dolls. </p>
<p>Ben was becoming frustrated now. “I’m going to count to three. I think you know what will happen if I get to three and you still haven’t done as I asked. If I was you, I would think hard about obeying me.”</p>
<p>Clara looked up from her dolls briefly, a small flicker of concern in her eyes. It was gone as quickly as it arrived though. “Nuh-uh. You won’t do that because only Papa can do that.”</p>
<p>With that, Ben started counting. </p>
<p>“One.”</p>
<p>“Two.”</p>
<p>“Last chance, Clara.” He waited all of five seconds to see if she would obey, but she continued to sit on the floor with her toys spread all around her. Ben sighed at her stubbornness before finally reaching the dreaded final number. “Three.”</p>
<p>Ben strode the few steps over to where Clara was still playing on the floor. He reached down and grabbed her arm, gently pulling her to a standing position. He quickly turned her to the side, landing two firm swats before turning her back around. It was over before she could even register what had happened. </p>
<p>Keeping a hold on Clara’s shoulders, he crouched down to look her in the eyes. The swats were forceful enough to let her know that Ben meant what he said but weren’t nearly as hard as they could have been. Regardless, tears clung to her eyes threatening to fall down her face. </p>
<p>“Now, are you ready to listen and behave or are we going to have to have a longer and more serious talk upstairs in your room?”</p>
<p>She raised her right hand to wipe at her eyes and let out a sniffle. “I-I’ll listen-en Grandpa.”</p>
<p>“That’s good to hear. Now, please pick up your dolls and put them away for now. If there’s time later, we can pull them out and play with them after supper.”</p>
<p>Ben watched as Clara quickly picked up all her toys and then they both went to wash their hands before making their way to the table and sitting down ready to eat at last.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>An hour later, supper was finished and Adam excused his children to go play for a little bit before it was time to start getting ready for bed while the adults remained at the table savoring their coffee. Ben figured now was as good of a time as any to bring up his concerns to his son about how he has been handling things. </p>
<p>“Adam, how are doing?” </p>
<p>Adam had been studying the dark brown liquid in his cup and looked up at his father’s question. “I’m good.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? Chores around here appear to not be done or have been done hastily.”</p>
<p>He hesitated a second before answering. “Yes, it’s true. I’ve been slacking on some chores around here. But everything gets done eventually.” Adam raised his cup to his lips to take a slow sip of the comforting drink.</p>
<p>“What about the children? Are you still spending time with them and showing them enough attention?”</p>
<p>Adam refrained from rolling his eyes at all his father’s questions. “Honestly, Pa. My love for them hasn’t changed nor has how I treat them. You’re getting worked up over nothing.” He took another sip of his coffee to help steady his emotions. </p>
<p>“Am I? I got the impression earlier today that Nathan thinks you don’t really care much about them anymore and just before super, Clara was throwing a temper tantrum and you did nothing to stop it. I had to step in and discipline her even though I shouldn’t have had to.”</p>
<p>Adam was starting to get annoyed at Ben’s interrogations of him and his family and set his cup down a little more loudly than he intended. “We’re fine, really. It’s just a difficult time for all of us and we’re getting used to the new normal.”</p>
<p>Ben was skeptical and he knew what he was going to say next was going to hit a sore spot with his son. “All right. I know you say you are fine, but son, I know you better than that. You’re hurting and I get that, but you can’t let your responsibilities slip. You have to keep up with the house and children no matter how difficult it is and yes, you still have to grieve too. It’s been a couple weeks and you haven’t asked any of your family to help, not even once. You don’t have to do this alone.”</p>
<p>Adam was annoyed and bordering on angry by the time his father was done with his little lecture. He felt it wasn’t his place to come into his house and judge how he was handling things. Adam had enough with his helpful hints and was ready to tell him just that. “Fine! You’re right. You always seem to be right, don’t you Pa? I admit it is hard and we have been letting some things slip as a family just a little. But we’re surviving and that’s all that matters. I can take care of my ranch, house, and children all by myself without the help of you or my brothers, or friends. It’s going to take time, but we’ll get through this one way or another. Please just let me get through this my own way.”</p>
<p>For the second time that night, Ben’s eyebrows rose in shock at an outburst from one of his relatives. “Very well. I’ll let you handle things on your own. However, you and the children cannot keep living in such a chaotic house. I plan to return in a couple weeks and if the house is just as bad or worse than it is now, we will need to figure something else out.”</p>
<p>Adam had calmed considerably and nodded in acknowledgment, feeling almost as if he was a young boy again being admonished by his father. “Yes, Pa. I understand.”</p>
<p>Ben studied his oldest son for a moment before rising from the table and taking his leave. He made a vow to himself that he will periodically ask to help Adam over the next couple of weeks. Regardless of if he accepts his help or not, he truly hoped Adam will make some changes in the coming weeks so more drastic measures wouldn’t have to potentially happen.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>